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Category Archives: prayer
Only just begun
It is that time of year again. My bags are packed; my out-of-office reply is on; I’m waiting for the coach to Taizé. And I could write a post thinking back to last year; thinking on how much I was … Continue reading
Posted in faith, mental health, mental illness, plans, prayer, trust, work
Tagged authenticity, avoidant personality disorder, avpd, borderline personality disorder, bpd, emotionally unstable personality disorder, employment, eupd, group therapy, homosexuality, hope, mental health, mental illness, sexuality, Taize, therapeutic community, trust, truth
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Just as I am
Thirteen years ago today, I was baptised. As the minister preached of times of loneliness to come, alongside the joys, I was sinking into my first fully fledged episode of depression. Having a relationship with a personal God had meant … Continue reading
Posted in baptism, disability, faith, forgiveness, mental illness, prayer, worship
Tagged anger, avoidant personality disorder, avpd, baptism, baptist church, borderline personality disorder, emotionally unstable personality disorder, eupd, forgiveness, full immersion, homosexuality, Joni Eareckson-Tada, just as I am, self acceptance, shame
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Sign and Promise
CW: #suicideideation New years are times I find scary. As we, as a house, lit sky lanterns and let them go into the skies, to see in the new year, I was trembling. With cold, for sure, but also fear. … Continue reading
Posted in character, church, faith, mental illness, plans, prayer
Tagged avoidant personality disorder, avpd, borderline personality disorder, bpd, emotionally unstable personality disorder, employment, eupd, God, group therapy, hope, mental health, mental illness, Personality disorder, promise, rainbow, stigma, therapeutic community, trust
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Illusions of Perspective
I am clinging to academia by the case of a very jaded laptop battery. A laptop that moves from institution to institution, coffee shop to coffee shop, awaiting students and marking and upfront teaching, whilst trying to ignore the pile … Continue reading
Posted in character, faith, mental health, mental illness, plans, prayer, reasoning, trust, work
Tagged academia, academic jobs, academic jobs market, academic posts, avoidant personality disorder, avpd, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Christian, Christianity, ecclesiastes, emotionally unstable personality disorder, eupd, faith, identity, mental health, mental illness, peace, Personality disorder, prayer, work
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Unravelling
This week marks the halfway point of my time in the Therapeutic Community. Over the first three months, I made tangible changes; moved house, reduced working hours, withdrew myself from my parents’ “let’s divorce each other as inhumanely as possible” … Continue reading
Posted in character, church, disability, faith, mental illness, prayer, trust, work
Tagged abandonment, academia, anger, anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, avpd, borderline personality disorder, bpd, church, control, coping, drama triangle, eupd, fear, group therapy, rejection, therapeutic community
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Glimmer
What do you want me to do for you? Luke, 18 v 41 I don’t know. It’s a familiar defence. One that I go to often in TC, when I’m too terrified to think of what the honest answer is, … Continue reading
Playing pretend
I have spent large swathes of the past week in tears. Starting with tears of exhaustion following another stupidly early morning, and failed job interview. Tears on the bus that managed to perturb the five year-old child sat in front … Continue reading
Posted in children, church, faith, mental health, mental illness, prayer, work
Tagged academia, avoidant personality disorder, avpd, borderline personality disorder, bpd, Christianity, DBT, emotionally unstable personality disorder, employment, eupd, group therapy, prayer, pretend-mode, therapeutic community, work
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Belonging and Becoming 