Category Archives: mental health

Fury, me.

Ten yo: Mummy, why is that lady walking like that? Mummy: She’s drunk. Stupid spastic Oi! Are you drunk? Spastic Spastic! SPASTIC! The voices encircle me. Up the road, on the road that I live on, in town, on my … Continue reading

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Rewrite

Pathetic. And stupid and desperately disappointed. I was offered a job interview for today. Somewhere different. Somewhere I’d not be known, MH difficulties or otherwise. And I’ve turned it down. I’ve turned it down because it was a full-time job, … Continue reading

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F is for Fail

I can’t do this. Clearly. I’ve failed again this week to secure employment. The reason given for why – because I haven’t done enough publishing. But that’s because I have sent my writing to the interviewer and badgered and badgered … Continue reading

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Human doing

We are human beings not human doings. I remember Steve Chalke preaching that at Baptist Congress, 2005, although I’m not sure the original phrase is attributable to him. I’ve called it to mind, ¬†this week, as our church meeting voted … Continue reading

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Integral to existence

I should not exist. I think I may have said this before. Forgive me. I think about it often. I should not exist because had my older brother been born full-term, my conception would have been impossible. Or – I … Continue reading

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Erasure

I am nine years old. S — is standing in front of me, with J— and B— beside her. J—‘s family don’t want to buy a copy of the school class photo’. That’s my fault, because it’s not a class … Continue reading

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Nada te turbe

I find chaos stressful. I like to know where things are, and what I’m doing. Although my mood sometimes falls below a threshold where I can be bothered with it, I like tidy. The uncertainty of the past few months … Continue reading

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