Category Archives: reasoning

Illusions of Perspective

I am clinging to academia by the case of a very jaded laptop battery. A laptop that moves from institution to institution, coffee shop to coffee shop, awaiting students and marking and upfront teaching, whilst trying to ignore the pile … Continue reading

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Voices around my head

The voice in my head is unkind. When it is not telling me I would be better dead; that I deserve to die; it is running a live commentary on how rubbish I am. I shake my head violently in … Continue reading

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Secret Life on the Academic Scrapheap

Teaching with intense anxiety is not fun. Co- teaching makes it worse. Especially when I know that I am on the academic scrap heap, that my teaching skills are not good enough in the first place. I watch my co … Continue reading

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I hate the way you move

Since starting in the TC, I have addressed my caffeine addiction, reduced the lengths that I swim. I’ve also increased the healthfulness of my eating. I even cook for myself most days (in a world where ‘cooking’ is a loose … Continue reading

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Reeling

I had just settled in the knowledge that my ex-housemate is in prison. In prison, for a crime that, this time last year, as we adopted a cat, I could not have imagined him committing. Courts and police raids and … Continue reading

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Jumble

The tolerance and kindness you have shown me has been vastly more than I could possibly have expected or hoped for. It could end there. The last substantive sentence of the message my ex-partner, ex-housemate, left with his father for … Continue reading

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Desolate

Since leaving T.C. last  week, I have been enveloped by a shroud of unrelenting, uninvited loneliness. Sadness. Alone-ness. It’s not because I’ve not had company. There has been tea and games, and sunshine and picnic and barbecue. There was fun … Continue reading

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