Category Archives: disability

Glimmer

What do you want me to do for you? Luke, 18 v 41 I don’t know. It’s a familiar defence. One that I go to often in TC, when I’m too terrified to think of what the honest answer is, … Continue reading

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I hate the way you move

Since starting in the TC, I have addressed my caffeine addiction, reduced the lengths that I swim. I’ve also increased the healthfulness of my eating. I even cook for myself most days (in a world where ‘cooking’ is a loose … Continue reading

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Sand, and sea, and symmetry

I am trying to practise being more spontaneous. So, when my housemate said there was a union trip to the seaside, and I wasn’t already doing anything else, I thought, why not. It is a truth universally acknowledged that swimming … Continue reading

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In reverse

I feel like I am slipping backwards. The dejà vu of last week culminated yesterday with, ‘it wouldn’t faze me if you said you were getting married in six weeks; I’d be delighted for you’. My mother knows I have … Continue reading

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Garden of Trust

  You’d think that after 5 years, leaving Taizé would get easier. It doesn’t. It gets harder. The notes of a friend who, like me, journeyed to Taizé for the fifth time this year, returning to the UK a week … Continue reading

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Fury, me.

Ten yo: Mummy, why is that lady walking like that? Mummy: She’s drunk. Stupid spastic Oi! Are you drunk? Spastic Spastic! SPASTIC! The voices encircle me. Up the road, on the road that I live on, in town, on my … Continue reading

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Slipping through my fingers

I am slowly slipping beyond my own understanding. Irony is lost on me. I’ve broken my self-harm contract again. All week the voices were chanting that I should destroy myself completely. That I deserve to die. I resisted, and resisted, … Continue reading

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