Category Archives: disability

Fury, me.

Ten yo: Mummy, why is that lady walking like that? Mummy: She’s drunk. Stupid spastic Oi! Are you drunk? Spastic Spastic! SPASTIC! The voices encircle me. Up the road, on the road that I live on, in town, on my … Continue reading

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Slipping through my fingers

I am slowly slipping beyond my own understanding. Irony is lost on me. I’ve broken my self-harm contract again. All week the voices were chanting that I should destroy myself completely. That I deserve to die. I resisted, and resisted, … Continue reading

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Community

Another week down. One more week to go before case conference. As before, this week was one of anxiety and unabating fear. I’m unable to sleep restfully. I am constantly drained and tired. Caffeine now has little effect. I do … Continue reading

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Second Opinion

I have just gotten back from the hospital. Six years after it was first suggested, off-label, and with a number of potentially incapacitating side effects (not for me then), I have had a series of botulinum toxin injections, to paralyse … Continue reading

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Pendulum

And, how does that make you feel? Inside my head, my eyebrows raise, incredulously. Outside my head, I know the costs of giving a satirical answer. The person asking the question met me for the first time, five minutes ago. … Continue reading

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Taize: The Desert Flower

When desertions, doubts, discouragements and the silences of God seem to cover everything, will you discern the desert flower? Frere Roger, And Your Deserts Shall  Flower, 1982 I am returned again from a week Taize, changed, refreshed, restored vis-a-vis the person who … Continue reading

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Breath of Light

I find it hard to calm down, to relax. To chill out. If there’s work to do, I find it nigh impossible to forget that it is there, and do anything else, until it is finished. The problem with this … Continue reading

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