Category Archives: children

Playing pretend

I have spent large swathes of the past week in tears. Starting with tears of exhaustion following another stupidly early morning, and failed job interview. Tears on the bus that managed to perturb the five year-old child sat in front … Continue reading

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Sand, and sea, and symmetry

I am trying to practise being more spontaneous. So, when my housemate said there was a union trip to the seaside, and I wasn’t already doing anything else, I thought, why not. It is a truth universally acknowledged that swimming … Continue reading

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Garden of Trust

  You’d think that after 5 years, leaving Taizé would get easier. It doesn’t. It gets harder. The notes of a friend who, like me, journeyed to Taizé for the fifth time this year, returning to the UK a week … Continue reading

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Fury, me.

Ten yo: Mummy, why is that lady walking like that? Mummy: She’s drunk. Stupid spastic Oi! Are you drunk? Spastic Spastic! SPASTIC! The voices encircle me. Up the road, on the road that I live on, in town, on my … Continue reading

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F is for Fail

I can’t do this. Clearly. I’ve failed again this week to secure employment. The reason given for why – because I haven’t done enough publishing. But that’s because I have sent my writing to the interviewer and badgered and badgered … Continue reading

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Tumbling

Last Sunday night, I fall. I fall into a mire of suicide ideation and self-loathing. I have just been to visit my mother. Things appeared normal. If family life was normal, then I am bad, bad, bad, for seeking, let … Continue reading

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Frenzied Chasm

Rewind 15 years. I am 18, and about to sit my final school exams. Each weekday morning, I wake at 5am. I am working late, and not sleeping well. I have panic attacks in anticipation of the post arriving; university … Continue reading

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