Tag Archives: God

Nada te turbe

I find chaos stressful. I like to know where things are, and what I’m doing. Although my mood sometimes falls below a threshold where I can be bothered with it, I like tidy. The uncertainty of the past few months … Continue reading

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Healing Steps

Be still for the power of the Lord Is moving in this place He comes to cleanse and heal To minister his grace No work too hard for him, in peace receive from him. Be still for the power of … Continue reading

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Piled Under

Between TC and work, I feel I am living almost two separate lives, one where I am learning to be vulnerable and real; one where I maintain decorum, and meet deadlines, visit schools, and support ailing students. The veil between … Continue reading

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Struggle

I’ve said it again. Again, I have noted that I am struggling. I hear my voice saying it, over and over in TC meetings. Struggling to understand protocol, struggling emotionally, struggling to stay in the room; ironically, struggling to speak. … Continue reading

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Brittle

On Tuesday morning, I arrive promptly. Not arriving on time is not tolerated here; whatever state you are in, you have to be on time. I sit – calmly – zoned out. I have not slept last night, nor have … Continue reading

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Community

Another week down. One more week to go before case conference. As before, this week was one of anxiety and unabating fear. I’m unable to sleep restfully. I am constantly drained and tired. Caffeine now has little effect. I do … Continue reading

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Fear and trembling

The anxiety persists. Following group, anothey person storming out, conflict, staff inaction, I¬†descend into sleepless nights. I’m not allowed to take z-meds, because if I take them, I risk forfeiting being deemed “ready” for therapeutic community. To be accepted there, … Continue reading

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