Author Archives: Shades of Sky

F is for Fail

I can’t do this. Clearly. I’ve failed again this week to secure employment. The reason given for why – because I haven’t done enough publishing. But that’s because I have sent my writing to the interviewer and badgered and badgered … Continue reading

Posted in work, children, mental health, mental illness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment


Since leaving T.C. last  week, I have been enveloped by a shroud of unrelenting, uninvited loneliness. Sadness. Alone-ness. It’s not because I’ve not had company. There has been tea and games, and sunshine and picnic and barbecue. There was fun … Continue reading

Posted in character, mental illness, reasoning, trust | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Slipping through my fingers

I am slowly slipping beyond my own understanding. Irony is lost on me. I’ve broken my self-harm contract again. All week the voices were chanting that I should destroy myself completely. That I deserve to die. I resisted, and resisted, … Continue reading

Posted in disability, mental illness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Taste the Rainbow 🌈

As I cack-handedly gave the children’s address this morning, offering M and Ms (other sugar-coated chocolates are available) in an attempt to demonstrate that colour is inconsequential to taste, this is the slogan that was running amok in my mind. … Continue reading

Posted in Bible, church, faith | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Human doing

We are human beings not human doings. I remember Steve Chalke preaching that at Baptist Congress, 2005, although I’m not sure the original phrase is attributable to him. I’ve called it to mind,  this week, as our church meeting voted … Continue reading

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Integral to existence

I should not exist. I think I may have said this before. Forgive me. I think about it often. I should not exist because had my older brother been born full-term, my conception would have been impossible. Or – I … Continue reading

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I am nine years old. S — is standing in front of me, with J— and B— beside her. J—‘s family don’t want to buy a copy of the school class photo’. That’s my fault, because it’s not a class … Continue reading

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