Tag Archives: academia

To be and to grow

This quote, beautifully illustrated on Instagram by a friend, is one I know to be true. And yet – I can’t feel it to be so. Even though I haven’t been paid for the past few months for it, I … Continue reading

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Secret Life on the Academic Scrapheap

Teaching with intense anxiety is not fun. Co- teaching makes it worse. Especially when I know that I am on the academic scrap heap, that my teaching skills are not good enough in the first place. I watch my co … Continue reading

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Playing pretend

I have spent large swathes of the past week in tears. Starting with tears of exhaustion following another stupidly early morning, and failed job interview. Tears on the bus that managed to perturb the five year-old child sat in front … Continue reading

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In reverse

I feel like I am slipping backwards. The dejà vu of last week culminated yesterday with, ‘it wouldn’t faze me if you said you were getting married in six weeks; I’d be delighted for you’. My mother knows I have … Continue reading

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Rewrite

Pathetic. And stupid and desperately disappointed. I was offered a job interview for today. Somewhere different. Somewhere I’d not be known, MH difficulties or otherwise. And I’ve turned it down. I’ve turned it down because it was a full-time job, … Continue reading

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F is for Fail

I can’t do this. Clearly. I’ve failed again this week to secure employment. The reason given for why – because I haven’t done enough publishing. But that’s because I have sent my writing to the interviewer and badgered and badgered … Continue reading

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Human doing

We are human beings not human doings. I remember Steve Chalke preaching that at Baptist Congress, 2005, although I’m not sure the original phrase is attributable to him. I’ve called it to mind,  this week, as our church meeting voted … Continue reading

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