Tag Archives: avoidant personality disorder

Fury, me.

Ten yo: Mummy, why is that lady walking like that? Mummy: She’s drunk. Stupid spastic Oi! Are you drunk? Spastic Spastic! SPASTIC! The voices encircle me. Up the road, on the road that I live on, in town, on my … Continue reading

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F is for Fail

I can’t do this. Clearly. I’ve failed again this week to secure employment. The reason given for why – because I haven’t done enough publishing. But that’s because I have sent my writing to the interviewer and badgered and badgered … Continue reading

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Desolate

Since leaving T.C. last  week, I have been enveloped by a shroud of unrelenting, uninvited loneliness. Sadness. Alone-ness. It’s not because I’ve not had company. There has been tea and games, and sunshine and picnic and barbecue. There was fun … Continue reading

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Slipping through my fingers

I am slowly slipping beyond my own understanding. Irony is lost on me. I’ve broken my self-harm contract again. All week the voices were chanting that I should destroy myself completely. That I deserve to die. I resisted, and resisted, … Continue reading

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Integral to existence

I should not exist. I think I may have said this before. Forgive me. I think about it often. I should not exist because had my older brother been born full-term, my conception would have been impossible. Or – I … Continue reading

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Flux

Board games are good. And there are lots of them in this house. Although I have yet to discover what Fluxx is about. Flux is a good word for the past week. Everything was in transition; my housemate, his bail, … Continue reading

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