Absent without Leave

This is how I know my mind has taken leave of my senses:

That I still think, but thinking is hard and –
fragmented.
Thoughts enter and leave
consciousness
without effort or explanation.

That other thoughts stick and spin
And swirl,round and round and round.
Thoughts of ending, of crying,
Of dying.

That when I sleep or daydream,
I imagine heaven,
Dwelling in Peace and Rest,
and Light

That when I am alone, or left out,
I despair of being so.
And when with others,
I scream inside
for solitude.

That I am tired;
Exhausted beyond measure,
By the simplest task,
Wary of the smallest request.

That it all feels like too much. 

God, Who loves me completely:
For the tears that are uncried,
For the thoughts that are not checked,
And the dreams that are outwith control,
I need only Your grace, moment by moment.

In this moment,
Please, draw close, and cradle me,
And breathe Your Loving Peace.

 

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