Tag Archives: control

Unravelling

This week  marks the halfway point of my time in the Therapeutic Community. Over the first three months, I made tangible changes; moved house, reduced working hours, withdrew myself from my parents’ “let’s divorce each other as inhumanely as possible” … Continue reading

Posted in character, church, disability, faith, mental illness, prayer, trust, work | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Eye of the Tiger

I’ve run through email, cleared my inbox, and scheduled the Department’s core social media output for the week. I met last week’s research goal, and feel ready to tackle the one set up for the week ahead. I feel calm. And then … Continue reading

Posted in character, mental health, mental illness, work | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Beside myself

This has not been an easy week. The trajectory of the week before has continued its spiral, plummetting ever further downwards. The tiredness does not abate no matter how much I sleep, oversleep, rest. Voices chant incessantly at me from … Continue reading

Posted in faith, mental health, plans, reasoning, trust, work | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Someone Else’s Story

Things have fallen flat again. During the week, I work flat-out. I leave my  house at 5am, and return near 11pm. And repeat. In the middle, on the bus, at my desk, in the lecture theatre, I teach, and mark, … Continue reading

Posted in church, disability, forgiveness, mental health | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Consentire

There was a rainbow over my house yesterday afternoon. A full, proper rainbow. Not half a one, or one half-hidden behind the clouds. A rainbow: reflection of the refraction of light through the rain. Beauty in broken light. [CONTENT WARNING: … Continue reading

Posted in trust | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Let Go

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know Well now they know Do you recognize the above? No reason why you should. It’s from … Continue reading

Posted in character, mental health, work | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Shipwreck in a Bottle

I come back into the room. I am staring  determinedly through the floor, and my voice is shaking. I am trembling. I speak to explain that sharing emotion is dangerous and unwanted and makes people threaten to leave, before they turn … Continue reading

Posted in character, mental health | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment