Category Archives: plans

Coming Home

I spent time, earlier this week, in the Therapeutic Community, reflecting on what it means to be home. I wrote. I wrote because writing feels safe and familiar; words give me the structure that I crave amidst the chaos and … Continue reading

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Dawning

Dawning:        D [Welsh: awn ni!]ng      D[English: let’s go!]ng I have written about sunrise before. Almost exactly three years ago. Three years ago, when I could see a future for myself in (South)-East London. Three years later, … Continue reading

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Order of the Phoenix

Therapy is hard. Most of the past week has been spent entombed in grey and fogginess and gloom. Aside from one day, when I had to be at work out of necessity, for teaching, I remained in bed for as … Continue reading

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Sign and Promise

CW: #suicideideation New years are times I find scary. As we, as a house, lit sky lanterns and let them go into the skies, to see in the new year, I was trembling. With cold, for sure, but also fear. … Continue reading

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Illusions of Perspective

I am clinging to academia by the case of a very jaded laptop battery. A laptop that moves from institution to institution, coffee shop to coffee shop, awaiting students and marking and upfront teaching, whilst trying to ignore the pile … Continue reading

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In reverse

I feel like I am slipping backwards. The dejà vu of last week culminated yesterday with, ‘it wouldn’t faze me if you said you were getting married in six weeks; I’d be delighted for you’. My mother knows I have … Continue reading

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Reeling

I had just settled in the knowledge that my ex-housemate is in prison. In prison, for a crime that, this time last year, as we adopted a cat, I could not have imagined him committing. Courts and police raids and … Continue reading

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