Tag Archives: self-harm
Last Sunday night, I fall. I fall into a mire of suicide ideation and self-loathing. I have just been to visit my mother. Things appeared normal. If family life was normal, then I am bad, bad, bad, for seeking, let … Continue reading
I’ve run through email, cleared my inbox, and scheduled the Department’s core social media output for the week. I met last week’s research goal, and feel ready to tackle the one set up for the week ahead. I feel calm. And then … Continue reading
This has not been an easy week. The trajectory of the week before has continued its spiral, plummetting ever further downwards. The tiredness does not abate no matter how much I sleep, oversleep, rest. Voices chant incessantly at me from … Continue reading
And, Freeze! That’s what she used to proclaim, suddenly, at us, in drama. Obediently, we would pause, statue-esque, awaiting her instruction. It’s a technique I use years later, running children’s parties. It engenders quiet. Still. Frozen in space is time … Continue reading
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I come back into the room. I am staring determinedly through the floor, and my voice is shaking. I am trembling. I speak to explain that sharing emotion is dangerous and unwanted and makes people threaten to leave, before they turn … Continue reading