Board games are good. And there are lots of them in this house. Although I have yet to discover what Fluxx is about.
Flux is a good word for the past week. Everything was in transition; my housemate, his bail, myself, my belongings, my employment.
The cat is perturbed. Everyday a new arrangement of boxes, a fresh set of empty shelves to explore. But why? She puts her head on one side and meows her curiosity. Licks her lips in anxiety. What will disappear next?
And indeed, what? I can’t reassure the cat this time, because I don’t know either. Housemate’s bail is extended by a month. He knows now what he is likely to be charged with. But, he is around for a month. When he is charged, quite what of our friendship will disappear is uncertain.
As my contract fades to its end, how I may next be employed is unknown. I visit schools, to introduce Zorba, the alien pupil, think about re-training. I wanted to be a teacher once. And I kind of am. A life as a Teaching Assistant, its simple joy, appeals. But I can’t live on a part-time Teaching Assistant wage for long.
I am forced to live day-by-day. Worrying beyond then is futile. For now, I have moved, by the grace of some truly wonderful friends, into a safe, dry place to live, and friendly folk to live with. I am making my way through therapy. These things are relatively more certain. God is certain. But what God will do, what will happen to me, is not. The flux is frightening.