Come on then, God;
Tell me where the F**** you do want me to be.
Come on. I’m waiting.
Because you rejected me again today. And I could formally complain about the unfairness of the interview process – because it was underhand (and everyone thought I was suspicious for thinking this) – and I could sue the church for utter unprofessionalism, resulting directly in loss of earnings, but let’s face it, where would that get me? The institutions will protect themselves. I’ll lose. I’ve lost.
Let’s face it. Really, face it. The church minister clearly doesn’t want me around. The university doesn’t want me around. The only people who say they do want me around are friends and family, who (surprise, surprise) only have to see me three or four times a year. And often resist my attempts to see them, even then. It’s no surprise that no one was “free” to spend time with me this evening.
So, you know what? I’ve had enough. Hell would be better than this constant rejection, ostracism and exclusion.
I’m clearly not wanted.