White Noise

575962_10151490261706208_1148174615_n-1I love Oxford. I like the “dreaming spires” and academic town centre; its colleges, and bookshops,and museums. I am beginning to feel like this is where I should be. Like I belong here, somehow, even though I haven’t really been here that long.

Another part of that belonging, I think, is down to the people I’ve met – at work, yes – but also away from it, in Girlguiding Kidlington, at Brookes’ Lenten Reading Group (book review to follow), Oxford Brookes Chaplaincy, and at St. Columba’s URC.

I find, yet again, that I am blessed to be surrounded by so many ‘people of God’. I relish the discussions that we have in church Bible studies and reading groups, thinking through questions like “where is a Christian’s home?” or “why did Jesus want to keep His healing a secret? (cf. Luke 5)”.  I am, at heart, an academic: I love debate.

I talk about Jesus, God and Christianity a lot. But I can’t talk to them. I had a difficult weekend – my father visited, and I helped him with online church-hunting in Llanelli, and in the Gower. He wants to visit the different churches – because he’s thinking of moving there. He’s even been thinking about what sort of property to get. Thinking of that makes me tearful – and it’s what I think of first, when I try to talk to God. So I don’t.

DownloadedFileWhat’s the use of feeling confident in academic / theological debate – in being able to talk about God –  if you can’t talk to Him? It’s just white noise. It feels, on reflection, like it doesn’t mean anything.

This entry was posted in church, faith, prayer, reasoning, work. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to White Noise

  1. Pingback: Precious Moments | Discovering Faith (and Doubt and Hope) in Jesus

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