Over the past month,it’s felt like I’ve been drowning in a sea of uncertainty. Not waving, but drowning. Nothing was certain anymore. Despite starting my job search in April, I’d reached and passed the end of my job contract, without promise of a new job. So, I couldn’t tell you where I’d be living a month hence, what I would be living on, or what I’d be doing with myself. Moreover, my partner was in the same position, so there was no certainty surrounding where he might be, where we’d spend the weekends; if, a month hence, we’d be able to spend weekends together.
There was no certain base to return to either. Without money to pay the rent, once upon a time, I’d have gone back to my parents’, to live rent-free with them until something turned up. But, my mother has made it abundantly clear that I am not welcome at her new flat, if I ever do find myself in that position, and my father is not likely to live in our family home much beyond the next few months. Where he’ll go is – uncertain.
Nothing was definitely going to happen.
I should have known. There was one certainty that did remain, but felt out of reach. God. It didn’t happen by strange coincidence this time. I simply went for the interview and was offered the job later that day. A Teaching Fellow post where I’ll be able to do my PCUTL (Postgraduate Certificate in University Teaching and Learning) certificate. And a two and a half year post, so I know where I’ll be for a bit longer this time. I know where I need to have moved to by January, when the job starts. A December/ January move isn’t the best possible timing from where I’m standing – but I guess it’s God’s timing. And it’s in a town that my partner has expressed a wish to move to, and there is prospect of a job for him there, too. So we might be able to see each other more often than at weekends.
And God has given me the next two months, to get myself sorted, to recover from a very stressful post, and to get my head together. So I plan to use that time wisely. And I want to remember that God is the certainty in my life, that He is in control, and that His timing is perfect.