It’s hard to keep believing in something when you keep getting told it’s ridiculous. Not told outright. That’s easier to deal with. The jibes are what I hate. Like, “you didn’t say that with utter conviction so it’s probably true”.

I don’t rise to them anymore. Don”t bother asking what he means by that. I’ve heard it before. I know the answer. So I feel small and stupid for having faith.

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