After all the questioning below, or perhaps because of it, I want to post the following because it cheered me when I read it, and I want to remember it in the future. It’s from a devotional written by Joni Eareckson-Tada.
‘God doesn’t want our achievements, He wants us. God doesn’t want our rule keeping, He desires us. But remember, Jesus will never force you or coerce you into obeying. He will never insist on being your Master. Instead, He insists on loving you.
I spend a lot of time and energy trying to please people. Trying to do the right thing (mainly, I should add, because I have a deep fear of them hating me otherwise, not because of any genuine desire to help them per se).
So even in trying to do the ‘right thing’, I sin, because the motivation for the apparently good behaviour isn’t right. I deliberately and consciously sin, too, in full knowledge that what I am doing is wrong.
I like this passage because it reminds me that God loves me immeasurably, and not according to my works, good or bad. God loves me as a human being (not a human doing), and He wants to love me, and to mould me in Him. No matter what I do. He’s bigger than what I do. He knows what I will do, and He works with that to make me more like Him.
I am a human being.