Stillness and Silence

An update on prayer. Where I am with prayer. To be honest, I’m not sure where I am with this. I don’t pray with any regularity, which probably doesn’t help – mainly because when I do try to pray, I find it so hard. I’m mainly talking about prayers of petition. About talking to God about what is, and what has, happened in my life. By old habit, I start here, placing these things in God’s hands first, because otherwise worries can interrupt other prayers and my mind wanders. I start with a Bible reading, and go into silence. I imagine Jesus with me. Right with me, near me. I hold my hands -both hands – out to Him (He’s my friend) and am still.  I have things on my mind that I offer whole, but I can’t verbalise them, out loud, or in my head. I’ve just finished a stint of counselling. That helped with putting pain into words, to think over things differently. I felt I could speak about what was troubling me then. Things have happened since, that I can’t seem to talk through. I haven’t heard God in the silence recently, so I hope that He understands. I think that’s part of what makes it hard. I don’t hear God, like I hear a counsellor, echoing my thoughts, helping me find words. I hope that He hears me nonetheless; that words aren’t necessary.

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