I watched a programme the other week, Florence Nightingale on BBC1. I knew quite a lot about her already, because I studied her at primary school, but I didn’t know about her faith. She worked really hard at Scutari, and, despite this, more soldiers died. She was exhausted, but blamed herself. Judged herself to be the cause of the deaths. Felt that God had forsaken her cause. She hadn’t done enough. Her father reminded her that God is the judge of all things. That she has no more right than anyone else to judge herself, or her work. That He, not she, is in charge. That Jesus also felt forsaken on the Cross; that all sin is forgiven.
We are not judged by our work. All sins are accounted for on the Cross. Therefore, no matter what I do, I can still run to Christ. I don’t need to run away from Him.
I have problems making and keeping friends. I’m not a good friend to Christ. I run away from Him when things get tough. But – in spite of this – He wants to be my friend.
I feel like crying every time I come to Him, or think about the Cross, his wounds. What He’s done for me. That’s as far as I get with prayer. Remembering what He’s done for me. Thinking of Him as My Friend.